Gohan's Guilt
by SorrowfulAyame
Summary: A year and a half after the end of the Cell Games, Gohan is still feeling guilty and depressed. Can his friends and family help him out of it?


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This story takes place about a year and a half after the conclusion of the Cell Games. As I'm sure you're all familiar with, in the episode, "A Hero's Farewell", Goku sacrificed himself for the sake of saving the Earth and his friends and family from Cell, who had inflated himself and was planning on blowing both the Earth and himself up, killing everyone. It was a move by a very desperate Cell, who after coming close to being defeated by Gohan made one final attack. Out of rage and shame, but mostly desperation, he had decided on this fatal course of action.  
  
However, thanks to some quick thinking on the part of Goku, (Did I really just say that?! Hard to believe, huh? Sorry, but it needed to be said! ;P) and the use of the Instant Transmission, Goku teleported both Cell and himself away from the Earth at the critical moment. He saved the Earth once again, by sacrificing his own life.  
  
Now, before I go on, I must mention the episode that followed "A Hero's Farewell", since it also has a lot to do with the story you are about to read. In "Cell Returns", Vegeta, after witnessing Cell's sneak attack on Mirai Trunks, basically snaps, and attacks Cell, even though he is nowhere near as powerful as Cell. And as you all know, Vegeta, my favorite character or not, truly proved that he, contrary to popular belief, did have a heart, and that he really did care for his son, even if he didn't ever admit it before. True, he never really does admit he cares for his son, not until the Buu Saga, and even then, he doesn't really say those exact words.  
  
But nevertheless, by his actions alone in the Cell Saga, he proves that Mirai Trunks does mean something to him. As he saw Mirai Trunks lying on the ground behind him, hanging on to life by a thread, Vegeta's feelings for his son are reflected in his thoughts.  
  
'Trunks! My son! Kakarrot, this is all your fault! How could I let this happen to my son? He has sacrificed everything for me, and I have done nothing but ignore him! There's still time to change things! Cell has crossed me for the last time! He has tricked me in battle, mocked my Saiyan ancestry, but this! This time he's gone too far! He will pay the ultimate price, for what he has done to my son!'  
  
Ok, I admit, Vegeta caused more harm than good by attacking Cell, being that the final result was Gohan losing the use of his left arm as a result of taking the blast that was intended for Vegeta. But it was the thought that counted, and the thought was there.  
  
So without further delay, I give you, my story!  
  
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Gohan's Guilt  
  
The early morning sun peeked over the horizon, sending a warm, golden glow over everything in the little valley. Gohan sighed as he looked up from his reading.  
  
"It's such a nice day out. It's a shame to have to spend it indoors." Gohan said with a deep sigh.  
  
It had been a year and a half since the end of the Cell Games, and although the Earth was safe, and the peace had been restored, Gohan still wasn't completely happy. How could he be, when it was his fault that his father, the most important person in the lives of all his friends and family, wasn't around anymore, and never would be again?  
  
A lone tear slid down Gohan's cheek, unnoticed by the young half- Saiyan, but noticed instead by his mother standing in the doorway to his right.  
  
Chichi looked at her son sadly, knowing with the intuition of a mother what was troubling him.  
  
"Gohan, honey? Are you alright?" Chichi asked, stepping into the room. Gohan quickly wiped the tear away, and looked up at his mother, forcing a smile as he nodded at her.  
  
"Yeah.I-I'm fine, Mom." Gohan said. Chichi frowned softly as she walked up to her young son.  
  
"Gohan. It's not your fault. You must believe that honey." Chichi said.  
  
Gohan turned his face away from her, and looked instead out the window again. After a moment of silence, he shook his head sadly.  
  
"No, you're wrong, Mom. It is my fault. I know it is, I've just got to accept it. If it weren't for me, Dad would still be alive today. I should have listened to him. I should have destroyed Cell when I had the chance. Instead I let my power go to my head." Gohan said, a few more tears streaking down his cheeks.  
  
"No, Gohan, that's not true. Your father is proud of you. He told you so himself, remember? No one blames you at all. So why do you continue to blame yourself?" Chichi asked. Gohan shook his head again, but still didn't look at her.  
  
"Because, if I had done what Dad had told me, and destroyed Cell when I had the chance, he would be here right now. And now Goten is going to grow up never knowing what a great father we had. Someday, he'll find out that he had to grow up without Dad around because of his own brother's carelessness." Gohan said.  
  
Chichi bit her lip, unsure of what to say to her oldest son to make him understand. It was just so hard lately.  
  
"Gohan.please, honey, it's because of you the Earth is safe. It's because of you that your little brother will grow up to know the meaning of the word peace. True, we'll always miss Goku.but there's nothing we can do about that." Chichi said.  
  
"But Dad didn't even want to come back, Mom. And he didn't even know about Goten. Who will he look up to without Dad around? Who will show him how to harness his powers, explain where he gets his power from? What if he's able to transform into a Super Saiyan when he's my age too? Who will explain to him about the Saiyan race?" Gohan asked sadly as Chichi managed a sad smile.  
  
"You." Chichi said. When she got no response from Gohan, she went on.  
  
"You, Gohan, his big brother. Don't worry about Goten, he'll be alright. And so will you. You both get that from him, you know. Goku was always so strong of spirit, and I see that now, in you and Goten. You'll both be ok." Chichi said. Gohan looked up at his mother, but didn't say anything. After a few moments, he smiled at her as he nodded.  
  
"Thanks Mom." Gohan said.  
  
She smiled back at him, then walked up to his desk, and closed the book he had been reading. She smiled at his confused expression.  
  
"Go outside. Go visit Krillin, or go see Bulma and Trunks. Go ahead. You deserve a break sweetheart." Chichi said. Gohan hesitated a minute, then nodded. He headed towards the bedroom door, and turned as he reached the hallway.  
  
"Thanks Mom. You're the best." Gohan said as Chichi nodded.  
  
"Yes, I know. Go on, get going. Just be back by lunch time, ok?" Chichi said.  
  
Gohan nodded then headed out of his room, and down the hallway towards the front door. He stopped as he reached his mother and father's room further down the hall, and looked inside for a moment.  
  
After some hesitation, he stepped inside and walked up to the bassinet at the end of his mother's bed. He smiled as he peered inside at his infant brother, Goten.  
  
"Hey, you be good for Mom, ok squirt? I'll be back later." Gohan said. Goten cooed up at Gohan as he wriggled inside the bassinet. Gohan smiled again as he pulled the orange blanket over Goten, then left the room.  
  
Chichi watched him head out the front door, and take off into the sky. She sighed as she walked up to the bassinet, and kissed Goten's forehead. She looked up towards the ceiling, almost as if towards the heavens.  
  
"Oh, Goku.." Chichi said sadly.  
  
  
  
Gohan smiled as he landed at Kame House. He walked up to the door, and knocked three times, before stepping back as he waited patiently for someone to answer the door. After a few minutes, Andriod Eighteen opened the door.  
  
"Um.hello, ma'am. Is Krillin home?" Gohan asked. After a few seconds, Eighteen nodded, then said nothing as she headed back inside.  
  
Gohan waited patiently at the doorway, remembering the manners his mother had always taught him. After a few more minutes, Krillin walked up to the door, smiling warmly at Gohan.  
  
"Hey! Gohan! What brings you here?" Krillin asked as Gohan smiled at him.  
  
"Mom thought I could use a break." Gohan said. Krillin nodded in understanding.  
  
"So, how are you doing?" Krillin asked softly. Gohan looked down at his feet, knowing what Krillin really meant.  
  
"Better. It's never going to be the same around the house, but we're coping. Mom's been really supportive, and that does help a little." Gohan began. Krillin nodded.  
  
"I understand. You know, your mother's probably already told you this little buddy, but no body blames you. You know that right? Especially not him." Krillin said as Gohan nodded quietly.  
  
"I know. It's just so hard sometimes, you know?" Gohan asked. Krillin wrapped an arm around Gohan's shoulder as he led the young boy inside.  
  
"I know Gohan, I know. It's gonna take time, but everything will be ok." Krillin said. Gohan nodded quietly, still looking at his feet as the two walked into the living room.  
  
"I know. That's what Mom keeps saying." Gohan said.  
  
"You believe her, don't you? She's right, you know. That woman is wise!" Krillin said with a small laugh. Gohan smiled at his friend, but didn't say anything. Krillin gestured for Gohan to take a seat on the couch, so he did, after which Krillin did the same.  
  
"You know, there's something I've wanted to ask you for some time, but I didn't want to stir up bad memories. But it's really bothering me." Krillin said as Gohan looked at him in confusion.  
  
"What is it?" Gohan asked.  
  
"Well.it's about what happened that day." Krillin began. Gohan didn't say anything as he looked at the floor again. After a few minutes, he sighed.  
  
"What about it?" Gohan asked.  
  
"Well it's about Vegeta. And why you saved him." Krillin said. Gohan jerked his head up immediately, and looked at Krillin confused.  
  
"Vegeta? What about him?" Gohan asked.  
  
"Well I was just wondering why you risked your life to save his. I know he's not our enemy anymore and all.but.because of him, Cell could have won. Vegeta had had the chance to destroy Cell before he became complete, but he let him absorb Eighteen. And when he went off like that on Cell.well, you took the blast that was intended for Vegeta. I just always wondered why." Krillin said.  
  
"In all the grief over losing Dad, I'd almost forgotten about that. I guess.it was because of what had happened to Mirai Trunks. Vegeta attacked Cell out of anger and grief. I guess I sort of sided with him. I knew what he must have been going through right then. Maybe like we both had something in common." Gohan said.  
  
"Something in common?" Krillin asked confused. Gohan nodded.  
  
"Yeah. He had lost Mirai Trunks to Cell, just.just as I had lost Dad to Cell. Sure Vegeta hadn't thought things out clearly, and he had acted purely on impulse, but the thought was there. He had wanted to avenge his son's death. I guess.that's why I did it." Gohan said. Krillin nodded at him.  
  
"I see. It makes sense now. You know, he might ever admit it, but Vegeta's not that bad. If he can show the slightest hint that he cares for his son, I guess there's hope for him. After all, he has been living at Capsule Corp with Bulma and Trunks ever since Mirai Trunks went back to his own time." Krillin said.  
  
"Krillin, do you think if none of this had ever happened, if Cell had never killed Dad or Mirai Trunks, do you think Vegeta still would have had this change in him?" Gohan asked.  
  
"Depends on what you mean. Without Goku around for Vegeta to fight against, and the loss of Mirai Trunks, I think Vegeta would still be the cold arrogant person we've all know him to be. I mean, he's still cold and arrogant, but at least now we know he had a heart, somewhere in that thick shell." Krillin said.  
  
"I'd have to agree with you there, Krillin. Look, I'd better head home. I promised Mom I'd be home in time for lunch. I'll see you around, ok?" Gohan said as Krillin nodded.  
  
"K, man. See you later." Krillin said as the two headed towards the front door. As he reached the doorway, Gohan turned around once more.  
  
"And good luck with Eighteen. I think she's warming up to you." Gohan said with a smile. Krillin blushed as he nodded. A few seconds later, Gohan was in the air, on his way back home to his mother and little brother.  
  
"Maybe Mom is right. Maybe everything will be alright, in the end." Gohan said as he flew home.  
  
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End file.
